How To Be Kind To Yourself: 15 Ways I’ve Learned to Treat Myself Better
Self-kindness isn’t something people often talk about, but it has a big impact on your mental well-being. I’ve put together 15 easy ideas to show you how to be kind to yourself and feel better in your daily life.
Kindness has always seemed like a good quality. From childhood, we’re told to be respectful and caring toward others.
That’s an important lesson, but I’ve noticed no one really teaches us how to be gentle with ourselves.
Shouldn’t learning self-kindness be just as important?
Sure, how you treat other people matters. But how you treat yourself shows your true strength.
Someone who picks themselves apart all the time will have a hard time facing problems. But someone who understands self-kindness can handle the same struggles and grow through them.
You probably don’t want to end up in that first group.
“You have peace,” the old woman said, “when you make it with yourself.”
—The Five People You Meet In Heaven
When you respect yourself, practice self-love, and know how to be kind to yourself, life’s challenges feel less overwhelming.
Here, I’m sharing 15 lessons on how to be kind to yourself.
Take a moment now to breathe in and out slowly. Try to let go of any thoughts that hold you back from healing.
Once you feel ready, let’s get started.
1. Stop Talking Down to Yourself
I’ve spent years with a voice in my head that called me lazy or unworthy. It took me a long time to realize I’d never say those words to someone I loved. So why did I keep saying them to me?
When I notice that old habit sneaking in, I stop and rephrase the thought into something gentler. Instead of “You’re such a failure,” I try, “You had a hard day, and you’re doing your best.”
It feels awkward at first, but over time, your mind starts to believe the softer version.
2. Allow Yourself to Rest
Rest doesn’t mean you’re weak or unproductive. It means you’re a human being who needs breaks.
I used to fill every spare minute with tasks to prove I was worth something. Now, I schedule downtime like it’s an appointment I can’t miss.
When I let myself take a nap or watch a show without guilt, I feel more focused later. Try resting without apology and see how much better you feel.
3. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
I used to say yes to everything because I was afraid people would think I didn’t care. That left me drained, resentful, and overwhelmed.
Now, I remind myself that boundaries aren’t walls. They’re fences that keep my energy safe.
When I say no to something that doesn’t feel right, I’m saying yes to my own well-being.
It feels scary sometimes, but the peace that comes afterward is worth it.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
I always waited for big achievements to feel proud of myself. But the truth is, small steps matter just as much.
If I get out of bed when I don’t feel like it, that’s a win. If I drink water instead of soda, that counts too.
Every time you notice something good you’ve done, pause and let it sink in.
These small celebrations add up and help you trust yourself.
5. Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings
For a long time, I tried to bury my sadness and pretend it didn’t exist. But pushing feelings away only made them grow louder.
Now, when I’m upset, I name what I feel without judgment.
“I’m sad.” “I’m disappointed.” “I’m angry.”
This simple act helps me move through emotions instead of getting stuck in them.
Your feelings are messages, not enemies.
6. Practice Saying Kind Things About Yourself
I never used to compliment myself out loud. It felt silly or arrogant. But I’ve learned that self-encouragement is powerful.
Now, I look in the mirror and say, “You’re doing a good job.” Or, “You deserve love.”
It still feels strange some days, but it makes a difference.
Try saying one kind thing about yourself each morning. You might be surprised how it changes your mood.
7. Ask for Help Without Guilt
I believed I had to handle everything alone to prove I was strong. But strength isn’t about never needing anyone.
It’s about knowing when to reach out.
When I ask a friend for support or tell someone I’m struggling, I feel lighter.
People usually want to help. They just need to know you need them.
8. Make Time for What You Love
Life can feel like one long to-do list. But when I only focus on chores, I start to feel empty.
I try to carve out time for hobbies that bring me joy, even if it’s just fifteen minutes.
Painting, reading, or cooking something new reminds me that my happiness matters too.
You don’t need permission to enjoy things.
9. Forgive Yourself for Past Mistakes
I used to replay old mistakes over and over, like a movie I couldn’t turn off.
But staying stuck in guilt never fixed anything.
Now, I remind myself that I did the best I could with what I knew then.
Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you forget. It means you let yourself heal.
10. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Good
Exercise used to feel like punishment for me.
I thought I had to do it to earn food or be worthy.
Now, I look at movement as something that helps me feel better, not something I owe anyone.
Sometimes I walk outside. Other days, I stretch or dance in my kitchen.
Moving my body helps me release stress and feel alive.
11. Be Patient With Your Growth
Change doesn’t happen overnight. I’ve learned this the hard way.
I wanted to wake up one day and suddenly love myself completely.
But healing comes in slow steps.
When I slip back into old habits, I remind myself it’s part of the process.
Being patient with myself has been the kindest gift I can give.
12. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
The people you spend time with shape how you feel about yourself.
I’ve had to let go of relationships that drained me or made me feel unworthy.
Now, I look for friends who cheer me on and respect my boundaries.
You deserve to be around people who make you feel seen and valued.
13. Speak Up When Something Hurts
I used to swallow my feelings because I didn’t want to upset anyone.
That only left me feeling invisible.
Now, I practice saying, “That hurt me,” or, “I need something different.”
It feels scary to be honest, but it also feels freeing.
Your voice matters. You deserve to be heard.
14. Give Yourself Grace When You Struggle
Some days, I feel strong and capable. Other days, I feel like I’m failing at everything.
I’ve learned that being kind to myself means accepting both versions.
On hard days, I remind myself that struggling doesn’t erase my worth.
It just means I’m human.
15. Remember That Self-Kindness is a Practice
This isn’t something you figure out once and never think about again.
I have to remind myself daily to treat myself with care.
Some days, I do it well. Other days, I forget.
But every time I choose a kinder thought or action, it gets a little easier.
How to be kind to yourself is something you learn by doing, again and again.
Being kind to yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.
You deserve the same compassion you offer everyone else.
If you take even one idea from this list and try it today, you’re already moving toward a softer way of living.
I’m learning right along with you, and that feels like a pretty good place to start.
