How to Focus on What You Can Control: 10 Ways to Bring More Peace into Your Life

When life piles on stress and everything feels out of hand, I often feel like I’m drifting in a tiny boat on a rough sea. It’s a hard place to be.

In those moments, I start by taking slow, deep breaths. I let my attention settle on the air moving in and out. Even a minute of this helps my body relax and stops my thoughts from racing.

Once I feel calmer, I try to shift my focus. I look at what I can control right now. I think about what I can do to make things better and take a step forward.

In this post, I want to share the tips and habits that have helped me learn how to focus on what you can control. Maybe some of these ideas will help you too.

Before we get into the steps, let’s look at what parts of life you can influence and what you can’t.

How to Focus on What You Can Control

Some things you do have power over:

Your actions.

You decide what to work on or skip. You shape your habits every day. You pick your direction as you go.

Your communication.

You choose which talks to have or avoid, what words to use, and the tone you bring. Your energy in a conversation matters.

Your priorities.

You decide how to spend your time at work and at home. You set priorities in your relationships, money, and personal energy. You create the balance between work and the rest of life.

Your boundaries.

You choose what to accept from others and yourself. You get to decide where to stop giving time and energy so you can keep more for what matters to you.

Your self-care.

I’ve ignored this many times, but caring for your health makes a big difference. Moving your body, eating decent meals, sleeping well, and spending time on hobbies all support long-term well-being.

Your attitude and perspective.

You decide how to handle setbacks. You can choose to try again or stay stuck. Your outlook shapes how you approach conversations, daily problems, and big life choices.

Your personal growth.

You set goals and decide what you want to learn or improve. You get to pick what kind of person you want to become.

What you receive and give.

You control what ideas and information you allow in from others. You also choose how you show up for people at work, in school, and in your personal life.

What you cannot control!!

Some things are outside your hands:

What other people do and say.

You can’t control their words, reactions, opinions, or feelings. Their success or failure isn’t up to you.

The past.

You can learn from it and see it in a new light, but you can’t change what’s already happened.

The future.

You can guide it through plans and actions, but trying to force it only creates worry and stress.

Large, unpredictable events.

Big issues like economic shifts, birth, death, weather, delays, and accidents are beyond your control.

These lists have helped me see what I can handle when life feels too heavy. They help clear up confusion and ease the frustration that comes with feeling powerless.

Now, I’d like to share 10 more habits that have worked for me.

1. Notice When Your Mind Starts Spinning

I used to catch myself replaying the same problems over and over in my head.

I’d lie awake thinking about other people’s choices, the news, or whether someone liked me.

One thing that helped was learning to pause and notice those moments when my thoughts started spinning out.

I’d say to myself, “This is something I can’t control,” and gently pull my attention back to the present.

As Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

The first step is simply becoming aware when your mind is running in circles.

It sounds small, but it matters.

2. Make a List of What’s Actually in Your Control

When everything feels overwhelming, I sit down with a piece of paper and draw two columns.

One side says “Things I Can Control,” and the other says “Things I Can’t Control.”

I fill in both sides honestly.

Seeing it written down makes it clearer.

I realize that I can’t control how others react or what happens in the world.

But I can choose how I respond, how I treat people, and what I do each day.

This exercise gives me something solid to hold onto.

3. Limit Your News and Social Media Intake

There was a time when I scrolled the news every hour.

It made me feel anxious and helpless.

I decided to set boundaries.

I check the news once in the morning and once in the evening.

I also unfollowed accounts that only stirred up fear or outrage.

I’m not ignoring what’s happening, but I’m choosing to protect my peace.

Less time online means more space to focus on what I can actually influence.

4. Focus on Daily Habits Instead of Outcomes

I used to fixate on results I couldn’t guarantee.

Whether it was getting a promotion or someone’s approval, I wanted things to turn out a certain way.

Now, I put my energy into daily actions.

I ask myself, “What’s one small thing I can do today that aligns with my goals?”

It could be sending an email, exercising, or spending time on a hobby.

When I focus on habits, I feel more steady, no matter what happens next.

5. Practice Saying “I Don’t Control That” Out Loud

Sometimes my mind wants to argue and convince me that worrying will help.

When that happens, I say out loud, “I don’t control that.”

It interrupts the cycle of overthinking.

It’s like a reminder to step back and let go.

The more I practice this, the easier it gets to release what’s not mine to carry.

This simple phrase has become a lifeline for me.

It reminds me of this line from Marcus Aurelius:

“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

6. Choose Where You Put Your Attention

Where you look is where you steer.

If you keep staring at problems you can’t fix, you’ll feel frustrated.

When I catch myself doing that, I ask, “Where do I want to put my attention right now?”

I choose to notice something good in my life, like a friend who checks on me or the progress I’ve made.

I’m not ignoring reality, but I’m deciding not to feed the parts I can’t change.

Attention is a powerful thing.

7. Take Care of Your Body and Mind

When I’m tired or run down, everything feels worse.

I can’t control every stressor, but I can take care of myself.

I try to get enough sleep, eat food that nourishes me, and move my body.

I also practice simple breathing exercises when I feel tense.

These small acts help me feel stronger and more able to handle challenges.

Taking care of yourself is one thing you always have power over.

8. Accept That Uncertainty Is Part of Life

I used to believe that if I just tried hard enough, I could avoid uncertainty.

But life doesn’t work that way.

No one knows exactly what’s coming tomorrow.

Fighting uncertainty only wore me out.

Instead, I started telling myself, “It’s okay not to know.”

Accepting uncertainty has given me freedom.

I can plan and prepare, but I don’t have to pretend I control every outcome.

9. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Gratitude sounds cliché sometimes, but it has helped me stay centered.

When I focus on what’s good, I remember that not everything is out of my control.

Each night, I write down three things I’m grateful for.

Some days it’s big moments, like a loved one’s support.

Other days, it’s something simple, like a warm cup of coffee.

This habit trains my mind to look for what’s working, not just what’s wrong.

10. Remind Yourself That You’re Doing Your Best

When you feel powerless, it’s easy to be hard on yourself.

You might think you should have all the answers or that you’re failing because you can’t control everything.

But no one can.

You’re a human being doing your best in a world that is often unpredictable.

I remind myself of this every day.

I speak kindly to myself, the way I would to a friend.

That simple kindness can help you keep going, even when things are hard.

Learning how to focus on what you can control isn’t something you master overnight.

It’s a practice you return to again and again.

Some days, you’ll feel strong and steady.

Other days, your mind will pull you back into worry.

That’s okay.

Each time you bring your attention back to what’s in your hands, you’re building resilience.

You’re choosing peace over panic.

And you’re reminding yourself that even if you can’t control everything, you can always choose how you show up.

I hope these ideas help you the way they’ve helped me.

You deserve a life with more calm and less chaos.

Keep going.